March 25, 2019
Issue 03 2019
Horsed

Boozy Freakshake

There’s a storm comin’, Harry. And we all best [put on a few extra layers of fat because of lack of insulation in substandard flat conditions] when she does. So, what better way to layer up this winter than to gorge on saturated fat blended with straight spirits? If I haven’t sold it to you already, then the recipe itself sure will.


Ingredients:

-          As usual, you can choose how much you want to fuck up your life with your own measurement of vodka

-          1 tbsp peanut butter (any brand will do, but if it’s Chantal Organics then I assume you’re also the same person that sent me a 1,600 word complaint about Issue 01)

-          5 Oreos (10 if you really hate yourself)

-          2 scoops of ice cream

-          Whatever measurement of milk makes it a smooth consistency. I can’t do maths

-          Ice

Instructions

-          Blend it altogether

-          Pour it down your gullet